Hiding Out

OK, so I admit. I did it. I had to find a moment for myself, and I used the bathroom. All you moms have done it. Things were calm in the house, and I saw my chance for some "me" time. I quietly crept past the daughter playing out in the yard. I snuck past the dog sleeping by the front door. I tiptoed by the son playing with toys in his sisters room. (I thought I was caught when he looked up with a guilty look, but he saw it was me and not his sister, so he went back to playing.) I made it all the way past the creak in the hallway, and into our bedroom. I was almost there.

I slithered into the bathroom, and quietly shut the door, lifting it slightly so that it wouldn't squeak as it closed on its tight hinges. Finally, some peace. I picked up the book that I have been slowly reading, in the bathroom, of course, and settled in.

I have always wondered why my mom always took so long in the potty. I know know that she didn't have some irritable bowel issue, she just wanted some peace and quiet....

I was almost finished with the chapter, and then I caught my breath. Someone was standing outside the door, listening. Waiting to see if I would give away my position of secrecy. They waited, and waited, and waited. (Boy they are patient when they are hunting aren't they?) It was like they could sense me nearby. I held my breath, quietly turned out the light and prayed that I could have 30 more seconds to finish the last paragraph.

And just like that, it was all over. My heart started to pound as I watched my bookmark slide out of the book, and drop in slow motion. The sound it made as it hit the floor was practically inaudible, but their un-humanlike superpower of hearing picked it up. There was a turn of the doorknob, three sets of eyes peering at me through the dark, a squeal of delight, as if we had just finished a grand game of hide and seek, and I was once again bombarded by two kids and a dog with a million needs that only I could take care of.

"Mom, why are you sitting on the potty in the dark, with your clothes on, drinking coffee, and reading your book?"
Again, it appears that I will have to finish later...