A Baby Story

Tuesday night (11/9) I had 5 hours of false labor. 5 stinkin' hours. Contractions every 8-10 minutes apart. When I got up to take a shower, and wake up Rich to let him know that I thought I was in labor, they stopped.
I was sooo disappointed! So on Wed night, when the contractions started again, at the same time (8pm), in the same intervals, I was pretty bummed out. I thought it was false labor again....boy, was I wrong!

At 11:24pm, the contractions changed from "deep breath in, deep breath out" type to "break a sweat and start to moan" type. They also went from 10 minutes to 5 min apart....just like that. I got up to take a shower because lying down wasn't comfortable anymore, and in the duration of a few minutes in the shower, they went from 5 min apart to 3 minutes apart.
Rich got the phone and tried to call Labor and Delivery to ask when we should come in, but due to my unpreparedness, and total belief that I was going to have to be induced, I had failed to write down the number anywhere for him to find.
He called his parents to have them come to our house to watch the kids, and while we waited for his dad, I got myself dressed, had a billion contractions (now 2 minutes apart) and tried not to swear.
Let me preface the rest of this story with some reminders of my past. With Brynn I had a 24+ hour labor and when I went to the hospital at what I thought was my dying point, I was dilated to 2cm. They refused to check me in, and I had to walk the halls for hours to get to a 3. This was already after 8 hours of laboring at home. With Cannon, I once again labored at home for about 7 hours, went to the hospital and they measured me at a 3 or so. With Maeve I was induced, but dilation was slow, and since I was already checked in, meds were available whenever I wanted them. But bottom line, I am a slow dilator, and my labors are long...very long.
So, back to Wed night. When my father in law finally showed up, we loaded (very slowly) my hurting self and a hospital bag into the car and took off. I asked Rich to pray that I would at least be at a 3, but hopefully a 4. He prayed just that, and in silence we drove to the hospital. Every bump and corner in the car hurt, and I had to apologize to Rich for the swear word that came tumbling out on a particularly bad contraction.
Between our house and the hospital the contractions were 2 min apart, and lasting for a minute or more. When we got to the emergency room I had to stop at every row of chairs (keep in mind they are 3 feet apart) for another contraction. You could tell the security guard and the ER attendant were nervous. They called for a wheelchair, which at first I refused, but after not moving more than 5 feet in 5 minutes I accepted. They quickly wheeled me up to Labor and Delivery, with the ER attendant asking if I felt the need to push in the elevator. When I said no, he said quickly, but not quietly, "Thank goodness!". Guess he didn't feel like delivering a baby on the elevator floor....
We got a room, and the nurse took me into the bathroom to ask me a series of questions regarding a history of STD's and if I felt safe in my home with my husband. In my pain numbed mind, all I could think about was the fact that I really, really, really wanted my epidural, and her questions made me laugh out loud.
Rich was finally allowed into the bathroom to help me get into the awesome hospital gown, and I climbed into the oh-so comfy hospital bed begging the nurse for an epidural. She then proceeded to ask me a thousand questions about everything and anything, until I finally asked her to just check me so that I could get the stinkin' epidural. (Pretty much my mind was focused on the epidural at that point...can you tell?)
After what seemed like an eternity, the midwife came in and checked me and much to my surprise, and Rich's and my sister in law who had come to the hospital by this time, I was at 9cm. It was at that point that I lost it....because the dream of my epidural went up in smoke. Apparently they don't let you have it when you are practically crowning.
After 2 failed IV attempts, and a couple contractions, the midwife came in again to ask if i wanted to give a practice push. There are no such things as "practice" pushes for me. Babies tend to come out when I give "practice" pushes, and true to form, on the first push (keep in mind, the midwife was not suited up, the bed was not ready, and the nurse was still entering my info on the computer) Rich said, "Isn't that a head?" Apparently at this point, my sis in law scrambled to find the camera, the midwife started yelling for the birthing tray, and they all asked me to stop and pant.
Uhhhhmmmmmm. That is kinda hard to do when your body is taking over as it does. A minute, and another contraction/push later, (some intense yelling in the room that apparently came from my mouth), and pain like you can't imagine, Nolan Thomas was in my arms. His cord was wrapped around his neck, but loose enough for the midwife to clear it before it did any damage.

4 kids, 4 different experiences entirely! This was my first no meds birth, and it was intense. No one expected it to go that fast. I am glad I got to experience it, but I really don't want to do it again....

Oh, and my orthodontist would be so proud...I totally gave birth wearing my retainer! Probably stopped me from grinding my teeth down to nubs on each contraction....